A Heavy Heart For Today

Today is the gloomiest that I ever felt. I can never even remember when was the last time because I think it was so long ago.

I felt sad. I felt like crying. I felt rejected.
But it is more of these combinations that I just can't put into words.

Lesson learned: "Jik, do not expect everything to be always pleasant and to turn out well".

I thought I'm past that. The attitude of expecting. But I guess there is still that little percentage of me that give me heartaches because of some failed expectations. I thought that I am favored, but ALAS, it is the other way around.

Still, I am happy that today, I have felt the pain, I am still human after all.
As of this writing, I have let all the pent-up emotion flow. I CRIED SO HARD. The very thing that they think I'm not capable of experiencing because they think that my heart is made of stone.

Maybe this year, or next year, I hope I can already reduced the remaining 20% of expectation to just 5%.

Maybe?
Maybe.

Things like this is like an exercise of the heart. Time will always be my best friend.

I hope so. For now, I will just let the experience wash my rheum away :D :P

c'est la vie