The Bitterness of Regrets

I don't want to admit this, but we have to mature and grow up and accept failures and humility.
Regret? Seemed like a "defeat" for me. But this is what I'm always feeling every time I have to pay for my monthly rental of the house where I am staying righnt now.

Since the age of 15 I have been living away from my family. I have been independent since then, earlier than the average Westerners in fact.

I lost count with how many boarding houses I have stayed since that age, the last time I counted, it was my 17th. I guess right now, I'm on my 22nd boarding house/apartment

We call it "boarding house". Yes, the place being rented temporarily, which means staying with other tenants, mostly students who are very much on a tight budget. Boarding house could mean a small room with two double-deck beds that can accommodate 4 people or more, depending on how the owner build the place. It could also be the same place for working people who cannot afford a decent apartment like others.
Well, mine started like that after high school.

After graduating from College, I have different and more boarding houses to experience. Sometimes, I have upgraded to a Private Room, which I have considered a luxury that comes with having a salary.

Seventeen years later after College graduation and I am still living in a rented place. This had me thinking how I have wasted a lot of money already on RENTAL.

I felt self-pity getting a hold of me. I reflect what contributes to this kind of life after so many years.
A realized that one of the biggest reasons why I did not pursue building a house of my own are as the following:

*I thought I would end up working and living abroad as an Immigrant. You see, I was dreaming of living in Canada before, so building a house never attracted me in the first place

*I was a bread winner for nine years, it was quite difficult to do so. From the age of 20 to 29, I was only focusing on helping my family

*I have this kind of belief and thinking that building a house is a man's responsibility. If I will get married, it is his responsibility to provide

Well, I got tons of excuses that lead me to this life of rental until this time.
If I was a bread winner until age 29, what happen to the year when I was 30 to present? (excuses!)
If it is a man's responsibility to build a house for a family, why it didn't occur to me that I will end up single forever? (excuses!)

REGRET. What a sad word. But this is what I truly feel at the moment in my life, or not just at the moment, but for a long time now.

If only I can bring back time, I could have started building a house at the age of 25 even if it means a "bahay kubo" just like above. For sure, after 5 years, it would have been a beautiful house with a fence for my dogs, and unlike this time, I would not have been a slave of renting :'(