Almost Saying My "Goodbye" And The Decision To Stop Chasing People

Last night and this morning I have a heavy heart. I cried too before going to sleep. For all the frustrations and disappointments.

I realized, no matter how I tried not to expect there is still a small part of me that remains hopeful or expecting.

Torn between saying all the good things or probably a goodbye. Almost decided to deactivate my skype account, but I remember not to make fast decisions driven by emotions.

I hope to reach that point when I can just say my FINAL GOODBYE and move on. Maybe, by then, that little expectation will finally turned to zero or totally disappear as I hope to be.

Back in my teenage years, when I almost worship someone for four years, then when I see his pictures now, I almost wanna puke. 

I wonder if in the future, what I'm feeling right now, would just be like what I had during my teenage years. Something I wanted to erase from my memory or PUKE for the ugliness of it all, in the end.

Oh my heart, you are so restless ;)